WHY I DO WHAT I DO :
what is it that i want ?
DUNNO...
except, i know what i don't want,,,, but knowing that i cannot focus on things that i don't want, but on those that i do...
I want satisfaction fotr myself...not really, i'm of stable mind and all the discontent in the world doesn't stop me from sleeping in the night.
I want to be Happy....not really...i'm perfectly fine with all the feelings and know that i am easily moved by external stimulus, and that i accept all emotions as they come...vicariously or in 1st person...
I want to be rich....i know that i hate all things that involve money and detest money as a whole....so if i were given a billion $ today, i would not need or want to do anaything with it.
I want to be Famous....talking and listening to shit is something that i have always detested... all i really want is to be left alone to live and to die....
I want to be Challenged ...yes, i do like and am all for intellectual challenge..using the grey matter, as its the only time that i really feel anything for real....
I want to enjoy Life... well, the thought and eminence of death has really left me with only one acceptible conclusion ...life is meaningless and to attach any meaning to it is as foolish as sleeping a little longer coz you were having a nice dream...
I want Human Connection ....not believing in the Real Value of any human interaction, i would never want to talk to another person
I want to Love... i see love as an illusion not any different from Family or Friendship..meaningless need to share your shit with others....
what is it that i want ?
DUNNO...
except, i know what i don't want,,,, but knowing that i cannot focus on things that i don't want, but on those that i do...
I want satisfaction fotr myself...not really, i'm of stable mind and all the discontent in the world doesn't stop me from sleeping in the night.
I want to be Happy....not really...i'm perfectly fine with all the feelings and know that i am easily moved by external stimulus, and that i accept all emotions as they come...vicariously or in 1st person...
I want to be rich....i know that i hate all things that involve money and detest money as a whole....so if i were given a billion $ today, i would not need or want to do anaything with it.
I want to be Famous....talking and listening to shit is something that i have always detested... all i really want is to be left alone to live and to die....
I want to be Challenged ...yes, i do like and am all for intellectual challenge..using the grey matter, as its the only time that i really feel anything for real....
I want to enjoy Life... well, the thought and eminence of death has really left me with only one acceptible conclusion ...life is meaningless and to attach any meaning to it is as foolish as sleeping a little longer coz you were having a nice dream...
I want Human Connection ....not believing in the Real Value of any human interaction, i would never want to talk to another person
I want to Love... i see love as an illusion not any different from Family or Friendship..meaningless need to share your shit with others....
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